Well, it has been a while since I have updated so now would be a good time, right? I guess the reason I haven't posted anything recently is because there really hasn't been anything funny... or even a little funny. There's just been a lot of really annoying drama and while I was thinking about it the other day I realized it all boiled down to one thing: popularity. At first I wasn't sure what I would write about since all of the drama is really personal but then I thought about it and there are two main reasons why I don't give a what. First, this is the internet... 'nuff said. Second, no one reads this, I will be totally honest in saying that. I think my sister reads it (only when I tell her to and even then there isn't a high chance). So anyway, popularity.

You know that really annoying song in Wicked called "popular"? Well that pretty much sums up high school. It gets a little absurd sometimes to see how worried people become when they think they are losing friends, and most of the times it's because they were conceited little kids. I have a suggestion for them: stop worrying about the number of friends and how many parties you were personally invited to in one night and calm the fuck down. Now, you might be thinking, wow this kid is really bitter about not having a social life. However, I am completely fine with it, in fact I dislike 90% of everyone I meet and when I do go out I usually just end up getting annoyed and leaving before someone can vomit on me. I am essentially like an old person: I don't like loud noises, flashing lights freak me out, and I am easily startled. That alone should show you that I am not the type for a party. Typically, one can judge how "popular" they are by what they do on Friday and Saturday nights. If you are going out to a party, congrats, you're one of two things: "fucking dope" (that just means awesome) or really rich and can bring all the icehouse someone can drink on an empty stomach... or some combination of both. The thought and effort that goes into one of these keggers is remarkable. While most would deny it there really is a lot of care put into a party. I promise, I know- not because I throw them (my mother would slay me) but because I used to party quite a bit. I am going to throw this out there now, I am not going to pretend like I am too cool for school because at one point I really wanted to be well known and liked, who hasn't wanted that? But what I am saying is that the petty situations are infuriating if you have passed grammar school. One thing that really caught my attention was a recent bet between two guys. They were going to go to the same party as a girl that is usually out and they were going to see who could get with her first. Seriously? I can understand being a horny teenage boy but think about the girl and how humiliating that must be. While she is the type of person that may be flattered by something like that, have some decency and forget about it. If that is what makes you popular than I am going the old fashioned way and just be nice to people. Besides, I usually want to punch most of the people I know.

Who are you calling fat?

At some point in your life I am sure you have been called a name. These names usually changes from things like "butthead" to "bitch" but some seem to stick around. How about "fat". The other day I was called that by an obese girl while I was eating an apple. No lie.
I really did not know what to do. Morals told me not to say anything because after all she may be feeling bad about herself and I would never want to seriously harm anyone. Instinct, on the other hand, told me to "call that bitch out" as one of my friends so kindly put it. I ended up just looking blankly at her and blinking a few times, luckily I was saved by the bell and was able to escape before I did something I would later regret. It really was the strangest thing.
This is the whole scenario from start to finish:
Some background information about myself- I am a black hole and am ALWAYS hungry, I am also 5'10" and 145lbs.
Back to the story; I was sitting in my first class of the day thinking about my two favorite things: food and sleeping. I have food with me at all times because when I get hungry I don't get the typical crabby, I get shaky and weak to the point that I can't stand (I think I may be hypoglycemic) so I decided to problem solve and eat an apple discretely since I sit in the back corner of the class and no one knows who I am and I don't know who they are. I pull out a delicious crisp apple that I had purchased the day before and begin my feast- All the while careful not to draw attention to myself I keep my head down and only eat when someone is talking. Suddenly I hear, "Damn, you fat as hell, always eating and shit- you don't need that." At first I thought it was my teacher speaking and I was surprised to hear her talk in such a casual style but I look up to see the planet of a person looking at me with eyes that would make the devil question himself. Now the whole class is looking at me with food in my mouth. Can you say awkward? A few tense minutes later the bell rang and I sprinted out of there.


This is on a different topic but slightly related; it's about people consuming things. I was not in the class when this happened but a few days ago someone came up to me and asked if I had heard about what happened in one of the classes. I said no but was immediately interested because of the excitement in her voice. The school policy is that you can not leave the classroom unless it is an emergency, so no bathroom, no water fountain, most of the time not nurse either. One of the teachers has a pitcher of water and some plastic cups if a student is thirsty. In my opinion that is very smart, he abides to the school rules while understanding that teenagers do in fact need water from time to time. A senior (because this teacher only teaches senior classes) put rubbing alcohol in the pitcher so when a student in that class asked for some water they drank that instead. This student became very ill and needed to go home. I suppose I am just not hip and with it since that does not seem funny to me at all. All I can say is that I feel so bad for this teacher. He is way overqualified to teach high school, he is always happy, always nice, believes what his students say, and yet people are constantly taking advantage of that.
I have to remind myself that this is public school.

Winter Break?

For the past week or so I have been on break, I have a little less than one week left. I few days ago I went to a party which is something I do not normally do, but I had made a promise to go so I sort of cornered myself. I had planned on only stopping in, having a few pictures taken as proof that I was in fact there and then heading home. I don't really know what happened but all of a sudden it was almost 1 am when I looked at the clock! What the dickens happened?! I ran to my phone to see 12 missed calls- holy shit, I am a dead man. A man rush to get home ensued and I was able to sneak in without my mother noticing but it was a close call in the morning. When I woke the next day I went upstairs to see my mother and she was not happy to say the least. She asked what time I got home and I may have fibbed and told her I was home at 12 and I did not tell her because I did not want to wake her. It took a little persuasion but I was able to convince her of my innocence.
I guess my question is, how do parents not wonder about their children when they know they are going out?
I must be a nun or something because I would be so scared of my parents every time I went out.

'Tis the Season

I am now on winter break and let me tell you, I am so excited! Apparently other people were too since my school was buck wild. On the last day before break I went to the restroom (which is something only to do when you REALLY need to) and on the way there I noticed two girls at a locker; one was getting stuff from it and her friend was standing next to her doing body rolls against the lockers. No lie, I let out a small yelp and had to run to the restroom so as not to laugh directly at them. Once safely away from them I laughed uncontrollably. That's not all though, when I was in the stall someone walked in. I don't mind anything until I hear what sounds like a fire hose shooting into the toilet, as I am washing my hands I glance at the floor and realize that the feet are facing the toilet, not the door... seriously? You couldn't walk the extra twenty feet to the mens room? This all happened in approximately a two minute time period.

A few days before my sister met me for lunch. As she was creepily waiting under the doorway for my class to end someone comes running out of the door screaming "I smoke da dro! I smoke da dro!" For those of you who do not know what "dro" is, it is a type of weed.
Speaking of drugs, I do not partake in illegal activities but it is astonishing how much I know about this "franchise". It really is a franchise, there are people who have multiple dealers, dealers with dealers, dealers who have people who work for them who have people who work for them, it's remarkable. I guess it's quite profitable. I was explaining it to my mother and I think she's slightly concerned about my knowledge. I guess I can understand how it may be disconcerting to hear your child talk about the drug business like it's nothing but let's be real, I go to a public high school. I know so much about this I think I could be an undercover cop, and do much better than them, it's like when they're undercover they forget how to be regular people.
These are some of my drug stories:
Last year I was walking to meet some friends for lunch when a man who appeared to be about 30 came up to me and asked if I smoked, when I replied "no" he asked if I wanted to buy from him, when I replied "no" again he told me where he was going to be if I wanted to later on, or if I knew anyone that wanted to.

A few weeks ago I was standing outside of my school with a group of people talking about chocolate covered marshmallows when a kid walks up. He asked us if we had weed on us and when we all said "no" he asked if we knew where he could find some, none of us did. We continued to talk about the marshmallows thinking that he would leave. Well we were wrong; he asked what we were talking about so we told him in the hopes that he would leave us alone. Wrong again, he did not understand the concept of marshmallows so he awkwardly stood there and listened to us, periodically interjecting to ask something. When we were finally fed up and laughing we explained what a marshmallow is. He goes, "Oh, you mean those tiny white candies?" "Correctamundo!" "There's weed in them?!" "... what? No! these are marshmallows!" He was the last person that needed any weed. Goodness gracious!

Those are the only ones I can think of right now and I swear these are not cock and bull stories.

Who gives a what?

I find it fascinating what students say in front of teachers, or really what people say at the most inappropriate times. As you may know I am taking quite a few "easy A" classes but some of the best stuff comes from my AP classes. In one of my classes in particular there is one part of the room where everybody just talks about how much they can drink and smoke before feeling the effects or the crazy party that they went to. Don't get me wrong, I am not oblivious to what happens at parties, I know not many people are spending their Friday nights with their mother playing monopoly. However, I don't understand why you would flaunt that information (that could very well have them suspended or expelled) around a teacher. One of my friends recently asked them why they talk about it so close to the teacher and they responded with, "oh she can't here us, she's teaching the class." Really? I am going to have to disagree, she is just ignoring you! She isn't deaf, and I would bet that she knows most of the lingo, after all, she is still alive.

Parent- Teacher Conferences

Yesterday was parent teacher conferences so I didn't have school. While most people party hard the night before because they know it's their last night of freedom I usually take this opportunity to ask my mom for something that I want or tell her something I did because my grades are usually good and it helps her turn a blind eye. Unfortunately, I received a call that morning from my mother saying that my grades had "plummeted", I immediately started to panic and tried to think of reasons why my grades would have dropped so much, not being able to think of anything I go to check them online preparing for the worst. As I log into the grading system with my heart in my throat I see that I am making all A's and B's. By my standards this is perfectly acceptable so I call my mother back, she had seen my grades about a half hour before when I had one C. My mother was a high school teacher and senior class dean so I know that she has high standard for me and my siblings but I thought that was bit much. Out of my siblings I am the student while my sister is the athlete and my brother is the artist. Let's be real right now, even if I was still making one C I don't think it would be the end of the world- after all I am going to community college next year and living at home with my mother and brother. Speaking of college, as admission letter start coming in the mail and people are relieved to see that they do in fact have a future in their education I am growing fond of the idea of "fake school" as my sister calls it. I really enjoy seeing people's faces as they hear that I am not going to a university until my junior year; it's quite endearing. The expressions are those of pity and genuine sorrow, when I say that I am not upset about it they just act like I am trying to be strong and not show my deep pain. I guess they think that community college is the equivalent of a forever crippling car accident or something along those lines. I am SO excited for Harold Washington Community College, plus, I think it'll supply some good stories for this blog.

This is History

This year I am taking honors English rather than AP for a few reasons, primarily it was too much work for me and I wanted to sleep this year but also I hate revising things (as I am sure you'll see in some of my posts). At the beginning of the year we began rather slow but I was appreciating the relaxed approach instead of the "DO YOU SEE THIS?!" style that I had become used to in the previous year. I had assumed that the pace would pick up and I would be at a reasonable rate within a week or two- wrong! I did not realize that I had in fact signed up for remedial English! Today we took a true/false quiz on the Vietnam War because we began reading "The Things They Carried" (one of my favorite books); the first question asked if the V.W. took place in the 1800's. Really? The whole test was a joke, but really? The 1800's? I was relieved to hear a unanimous "False" when we went over the quiz but there were definately some surprising answers to some of the later questions. When asked if the U.S. became involved to stop the spread of communism I was so sad to hear a mix of "trues" and "falses".

That quiz was not the only thing that happened today. Apparently there was a fight at the end of the day. Contrary to what many people believe my school does not have many fights but when we do they are intense. I was not there when it happened but it was the talk of the town for a little while. One of my teachers said that she had never seen anything like it. Now, most people would be horrified to hear that high school students solve their problems through violence instead of a more peaceful approach like talking but when it comes down to it, what's more entertaining, a fist fight or a verbal assault? Personally when I hear "fight" I go the opposite direction but I guess I am in the minority in this case. About 98% of my last class was more interested in where the fight would be going after school so they could get a good view. To make matters worse a friend of mine was walking down the hallway when she passed a few of the girls in the fight talking with one of the security guards. They were talking about the fight, not ways to prevent future problems but gossiping about it! If the security guard is being paid to protect, to the best of their abilities the students and faculty at school, I would hope that they would intervene when a situation like this arises. I am wrong here too.

Continuing with the security guard scheme a few days ago while walking down the hallway I was pushed out of the way. This is a very common situation but this time it was by a security guard. The guards at my school are actually friends with the students- apparently to the point where it is acceptable to surprise one of the girls and it is also appropriate for said girl to scream and hug this guard. I am not especially open with my feelings but as I told my friends about it they all agreed that it was really weird.

Now this next scenario did not happen recently, it happened sophomore year but it is one of my favorites and it includes me personally. As I was walking to my geometry class I was faced with a large group of students standing directly in my way, as I begin navigating the crowd I bump into a girl. After quickly excusing myself I continue walking and before I knew it the girl pushes me so hard I almost fall over. I played soccer for 11.5 consecutive years and if you can get me to fall down you are really strong. Anyway, after I regain my balance I turn around just in time for her to scream in my face, "Bitch you are not excused!" I honestly didn't know what to say or do other than laugh and walk away and in retrospect that was not the best thing to do. A while later I told a girl in my German class what had happened and she asked what I did, when I told her that I walked away she told me I needed to stand up for myself. I have never been a fighter and I most certainly am not one now- I only use butter knifes because I am scared of everything else, I still have my mother cut food that requires sharper utensils. After she told me I needed to be stronger I asked what she would do and she said that she would have pushed her back and said, "Bitch I said excuse me! What do you want a damn parade or something?!" at this point I didn't know what to do other than laugh hysterically. I would never do something like that, but this is my life in public school.